Monday, April 30, 2012
Today my mom moved out. Out of her trailer which has been parked in our driveway for the past ten months, into a lovely little apartment in Old Town, Park City. Not far away, but certainly not right out my front door. I miss her already. I will never be able to thank her enough for the help she and her Joel have given to me this first year of motherhood. I will always cherish this time I spent getting to know her so much better than I ever did. I will always apologize for the sacrifices they have made to be here for me, and the amount of things I neglected while they were here because I knew I could, and someone else would pick up the slack. Quite honestly, I am sad, and a little bit worried. Worried about being up here alone so much more often. Worried about Hazel and I, without her. Worried about this home, taking care of it. Worried about resentment creeping into these spaces. Worried about old wishes and wants that I have left behind to live this life here in the mountains. This is what my soul is feeling today. There are good things too, I'm sure......for me and for her, about her having her own space, and me my own.....but right this minute those things don't seem important. Right now I want her to come back.