Wednesday, September 28, 2011

“To let ourselves be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen, to love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee, that’s really hard, and I can tell you as a parent that’s excruciatingly difficult, to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of kind of terror, when we’re wondering, “Can I love you this much?”, “Can I believe in this this passionately?”, “Can I be this fierce about this?”, just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophizing what might happen, to say “I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.” And the last, which I think is probably the most important, is to believe that we’re enough. Because when we work from a place, I believe, that says, “I’m enough,” Then, we stop screaming and start listening. We’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”

Brene Brown

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

BOOBS. They're really great.

That is Hazel and I, the day she was born.

After hours of hard work, the first thing that little one wanted to do was eat. Being squeezed tight through the birth canal was no easy feat! She was tired and hungry. She knew just what to do. It was immediate. It was perfect. We haven't had a single breastfeeding problem. Ever.

That is my baby.
And THAT is my boob. It's huge I know. It makes milk so I can keep my child alive. It's Loaded with it. I am a milk making machine.
It is amazing, human milk. Research it. you'll find out.
WHAT is the big deal?
My baby is a picky eater. She hardly eats when she is covered up by a blanket. Probably because she gets hot. I don't like to eat when I am hot. Maybe she enjoys looking around while she eats. I know I do.
Should it concern me if she doesn't eat enough? well, in fact it should, I am growing a child. She only eats my milk. She will go through the most miraculous growth a human being ever goes through during the time she is nourished solely by me.
I wonder if that is the reason boobs nourish a child? Hmmm....Or are they there for purely sexual reasons? yeah...that makes complete sense.
So you don't want to see my child eating huh?
Well excuse me then, I will just let my child go hungry while I finish up my grocery shopping. I will finish my meal at the restaurant while my child cries for food (giving onlookers another reason to complain and judge my parenting abilities). I will finish what I am doing, and then I will feed her in the privacy of my sweltering car, or better yet, turn on the air conditioning and waste precious energy, contributing to the carbon emissions in the atmosphere. Oh, I will also use those very well maintained and extremely clean public bathrooms. I will sit ont he toilet and nurse. After all, it would not bother me one bit to eat my meal in the filth of a public restroom.

On the other hand, I could simply sit outside in the cool breeze nourishing her, or I can quickly let her latch on in the restaurant before she even makes one (annoying) little sound. Oh, but since it bothers you so much I will let her go hungry. I will show my child that her needs do not come first. The comfort of those strangers, and my own agenda are certainly more important to me than my own child's well being.
Or should I confine myself to my home for the first year or two of her life? YES 2 years, because it is in fact recommended by the World Health Organization, AND the American academy of pediatrics to continue breastfeeding for two whole years. Should I just isolate myself from society for that time? Im sure that would result in nothing short of depression. Lonliness is already the hardest part of motherhood for me.Do we have children so that we will constantly be concerned with how that decision affects others? Those of you without children might think so, but once you have them you will forget about those other people, at least when it comes to your child's health and well being. Your main concern will be nourishing that little one to the very best of your ability at all times and in all places. I honestly don't give a shit what anyone thinks about that.
Breastfeeding is wonderful. It is convenient. She is hungry, bam, a boob in her mouth.That's exactly how it is meant to be. You are meant to be with your baby always, and it is meant to have food as soon as it needs it.
A bottle???? That would take time to warm up....time to find a place to warm it the time that was all done she would be wailing so loudly, and so uncomfortably that the milk would likely not even soothe her. Did you know that when a baby cries for a long period of time it affects their brain development? Did you know that when they NEED something, and do not get it, it affects their ability to trust that you are there for them? Did you know it gives them anxiety issues, sleep issues, fear issues? Study it. You'll find out.
Pumping??? That is tedious, costly, unnecessary, and nowhere near as productive as breastfeeding. Did you know that when you are with your child, and physically touching your child you produce more milk, and more is let down. When you pump you rarely get anywhere near the amount that you would with the child on the breast. It's all about hormones. You look at the baby, oxytocin surges, more milk lets down....Humans are destined to survive, when we respect nature's intentions.
Study it. YOU"LL FIND OUT.
I'm sure our species has survived and thrived through the ages while treating breastfeeding as a disgusting act, only to be performed in private.......convinced.

When I see a woman brestfeeding in public, I don't look away, nor does it bother me in any way. In fact I envy her. I am proud that she has the courage to stand up to a social stigma. I am glad that she puts her child first. When I breastfeed in public, I notice people's stares. They are different. Children look on with curiousity. Some people do a double take, and then quickly look away awkwardly. Some are like me. Understanding. They smile at me. They admire my baby. They are not disturbed by a child simply eating a meal.
It's seriouslty JUST a boob.
get over it.

*This post may or may not have been spurred by a facebook conversation. It is in no way directed towards anyone involved in that conversation. My feelings towards this issue existed long before said conversation, and have been building for months. This is my blog, where I get to say exactly what I am feeling and thinking. That's is all I am doing. Im hoping it will help people look at things a little differently. Consider other people's point of view, position, or situation.
What is more important? A helpless, completely dependant child, and a mother struggling to get out of the house for a change, or a grown, single, carefree adult's sense of comfort?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

This store, this store

I just LOVE everything about this online shop!!!
I know I have posted about it before but....

My birthday is coming up you know.....
And in case anyone is wondering....I wear a size Large in ALL Ruche clothing, and my shoe size is 8....and also, this list is in pretty good order of what I want need.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Just the Two of Us

Sittin in the loft Pinning (Pinterest, what a glorious waste of time) all the many things I want to sew for Hazel and Me, instead of actually sewing them.

Just read a little blog post about a baby#3. Today I have been thinking about all of my alone time with baby Hazel, and realized that this little girl sleeping next to me will be my only ONLY child. My next one will have an older sister. That baby will not have 100% of me like Hazel does, and I wont have 100% of either of them. Its not a bad thing, it's just the way life is.

It will never be just me and baby # 2 or #3. It will only be just Hazel and I, and only for a little while. I need to cherish that. These Hazel and Me moments are passing me by, and someday it wont be just us anymore. I hope she will always be my best friend. I hope I will be able to squeeze in small Hazel and Me moment as she grows and gains siblings and friends and leaves this house.

I will be so happy to add more little souls to our family someday....but right now, I am so grateful for My me and Hazel days.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

A Blowout, Best Friendsx2, and A PERFECT Quilt

First up, This is REALLY the first time this happened. Proof I should not use disposable diapers. I never have this problem with cloth. Massive blowout. need to do better at keeping uo with the laundry I suppose.

 Friendship bracelets. Don't worry, even thought that bracelet looks tight, it isn't. Hazel has the cutest little fat rolls on her wrists. The quilt my mom HAND quilted for Hazel. LOVE IT! Josh Tate and Hazel. hopefully these two will be the best little friends. Can you believe they were born just days apart? And just look at that girl. That little face. Oh my heart. 

Ten Things Im Wishing for this THURSDAY

Because somehow Tuesday came and went without my knowledge.....
1. Ruffle Butt   2. Felt Coasters   3. Yellow+Grey   4. RED   5. Black+White   6. SOOO cuute for makin Hazel clothes   7. A book everyone should have   8. Guess who's getting teeth?   9. A book of the SWEETEST dolly patterns   10.  How to make Amazing foooood

Sewing 101

For real
I made all that.
well, I didn't MAKE those onesies, or the long sleeved shirt, I embelished them
But I MADE that little tan shirt, those two white dresses, those brown pants, and BOTH of those grey stripedy pants!
I MADE it myself!
I hope everyone is excited about this as me.
Im on a roll. Im gonna go sew some more now.