Sunday, August 28, 2011


Halloween has been on my mind. I better get working on an Itty bitty costume. My first one. I hope to be making costumes for many more years, and a few more babies! I'm thinking gold fish, but Owl would be fun and easy too....

Now if we only had a Halloween party to attend........

Friday, August 26, 2011

A favorite Blog!!!

So there is this blog that I have been reading for AGES and I absolutely love! I finally got to meet The blogger ahen I was at craft lake city, and stumbled upon some very familiar looking moccasins. Without looking up I said out loud, "Freshly Picked". I was so excited to finally meet her!

She is giving away Mocassins to one lucky little baby, and not nust one pair. A pair in every size!!!!!
You HAVE to visit Freshly Picked!!!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Ten things I'm Wishing for this Tuesday Morning......

Since last week's post was so succesful, in that I just recieved item number ten in the mail today, I decided this might become a weekly occurance.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Here goes...

I'm going to be honest. I'm sending this out into the universe. Something has been missing lately. I've felt a sense of longing for something....I couldn't quite put my finger on it. It's been lingering for a while, before hazel came along, maybe it appeared sometime during my pregnancy.  Feelings of lonliness, the idea that I am inadequate, incapable of accomplishing even simple everyday tasks. I thought I was lacking friends....that isn't true. I have many many loving and caring people in my life, but...... it has been a long time since I have had a good group of friends. Since I felt I had a place in the community. A sense of belonging among my peers. In a little town like this, how do I find a place, when I can't even meet people. I don't like the way I feel these days. Sometimes I feel like I live in a foreign country....Of course I have good times, a lot of them.....but when I find myself at home just me and Hazel...these feelings creep in, and they overwhelm me at times. Even when I spend time with one friend, I still feel that lonliness. There are so many new and wonderful things happening in my life....I just want people to share them with. Not a person here or there. A community. People.

I thought, maybe, I should go to church...but I don't want to go. I just want friends. It seems silly to go to church just to meet people......I dont know. How else, in a place like this?

I will stand in the grocery with a sign that reads: "I need friends", or "Will work for friendship".... Oh gosh.....there, I told you all what I am REALLY feeling.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

OHHHver it!

Today I had just about had it. I'm a mess. I can't keep anything straight, I'm so disorganzed. I am not ready for school, I have all of these different projects sitting around waiting to be finished, and I have no idea when my sewing machine will arrive at the shop, therefore I have no idea what day I will be driving to salt lake to pick it up. I have done absolutely nothing for the past 4 days. I haven't gone anywhere or seen anyone, and I haven't even lifted a finger to do house-work. Mike has come home every day, and made dinner, and done laundry. Im at the point where just looking at a project. or thinking about figuring out school is so overwhelming that I just ignore it all. And get this, this week isn't all that different from any other week. UGH what is wrong with me? I have officially earned the worst-housewife-ever award.

 But when I was ready to have a mini (or not so mini) breakdown today, Hazel wanted to cuddle. She hasn't been too into cuddling lately. She likes to be held, but outward so she can see everything. She hasn't done the whole rest her head on my chest things for a while now, and when she did it today it kind of pushed all of those other things that were bothering me away. Maybe this baby knows what I need just as much as I know what she needs.

Now, I need to make a list......

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Some Things I've Missed

I have forgotten to blog about some things. Meant to, but just never did.

My cousin Brooke met Megan and I in Park City a few weeks ago...or a month. We went to Windy Ridge Cafe for lunch. Brooks is the cousin closest to both of our ages, and we grew up having lots of sleepovers together at Dodee and Papa's. She was so excited to meet baby Hazel.  After lunch we went to the cabin, and on a little hike up to the lake. Mike made us dinner, then we made s'mores outside in the fire pit. Brooke was determined to get the perfect on-burnt Marshmallow. It didn't work out so well. Right as Meg and Brooke were walking out the door, it went from dry to POURING rain, in less than a second! They had to book it to the car. I have pictures, but they  wont upload right now.

Hazel had her first visit to the Firestation, but right as we arrived Dad got a call and they all rushed out in the truck. Exciting.

We went to a baseball game.....probably a better idea when Hazel is older. Just hot....and I couldn't get the idea of a foul ball racing towards hazel and I out of my head, which made for a stressfull evening. Needless to say, we left pretty early.

We drove to Steamboat, CO. We definitely taught her not to like the car seat. It took us a few hours longer than usual, and the last 5 miles or so were the worst of my life. I felt so guilty listening to her cry, but we stopped, and tried everything. She just needed to get inside and have a bath, so we got back in the car, and went that last 5 miles with her crying the whole way. it was awful. I probably sound silly, most parents of a 3 month old might be used to crying, but bot me.  We arrived at Mike's aunt and uncle's beautiful home, quickly greeted them, and then I rushed to give hazel a bath and feed her, and end the traumatic experience. She had a long nap and was as good as new. We had a delicious dinner, and Mike helped them put the horses away for the night. The next day we woke up early, and went into town to explore, and have breakfast. Then we headed back to the house to wait for Hazel's grandpa Seymour, whom she hadn't met yet. Seymour and Nancy arrived, and were so excited to meet Hazel! I think Nancy held her more than anyone over the next few days. Several of Mike's cousins who he doesn't see often arrived that day and night. One of his cousins we found out, works at a hospital in Jakharta Indonesia training midwives, and she had waterbirths with both of her children! Mike's cousin Asher, and his wife Maria who were witnesses at our wedding ceremony visited as well. It was so nice to get to know them better. Maria is a wonderful cook, and taught mike about leeks, which he has been expirimenting with ever since. We can't wiat to visit Asher and Maria in Portland! I absolutely LOVE Steamboat. I can't wait to go back! The trip home was not nearly as traumatic. Hazel slept most of the way.

I have been working on projects to open my etsy shop, and in the process I broke the sewing machine. Today mom and I ventured down to Salt Lake to either get it repaired, or buy a new one. We ended up getting a great deal on a nice machine, and they gave us $100 off for the broken machine as a trade-in. The new machine has all kinds of crazy features, and they offer classes on how to use it. four 3-hour classes. I feel like that will help me in getting started really learning to sew. Woohoo! im so excited. When I sew now, I just throw things together, and don't really know what I am doing. More and more I am wishing that I could make this or that, things I see on the internet. Now is the best time to learn, while I am home taking care of Hazel.

Following the exciting sewing machine purchase, I met Brooke at Craft Lake City today, looking for inspiration for things I could make and sell in my Etsy shop. There are so many things I want to learn to do! Besides sewing I want to learn to make soap, and screenprinting. I am SUPER curious about letterpress. I absolutely love all things letterpress, but don't know much about the process. And Jewelry making. ahh so much pretty jewelry. If these people can make it, I know I can. UGH all of these things cost so much to get started though. I need to focus on a few things. I walked into a tent and as I spied the metallic baby mocassins they were selling, I immediately thought "Freshly Picked" and looked up to see the familiar face of a blogger I have been following for some time. SO excited to have met her, and  hoping to attend a craft night of her's in Orem soon!

Meanwhile, I have decided I need a little office space. When I get out my craft stuff I make a huge mess, usually right in our front room. It gets so messy and disorganized, that after i finish and put everything away, it is hard for me to want to get it out again. As soon as I can convince Mike, we are going to move the uest bed out of the loft, and build a little desk and storage area for the computer and printer, the sewing machine, and all of my craft stuff. I love home projects like this and can't wait to get started!!

And Hazel. Our little tiny girl is getting so so big and chubby. She is laughing ang smiling and making all sorts of noises. Oh, and her faces. Love them. Her best friend is the ceiling fan. For some reason she can't get enough of it. She just stares at it and gets all excited. SO funny. She is getting pretty opinionated about what hse wants and wehn she wants it. Sometimes she wakes up out of nowhere with the saddes sweetest little cry, almost like she is scared from a nightmare or something, and it just breaks my heart! I stare at her and realize that she will never know how much I love her until she has a little one of her own. Throught having her I have realized how my mother feels about all five of us and am amazed at how she handled the stress and heartache of mothering that I have only caught a small glimpse of in hazel's 3 months of life. Being a mom is so wonderful, yet at the same time I look at her and realize that loving someone this much can and will really hurt someday. Someday when she gets angry at me, or gets her feeling hurt by a friend, or her heart broken. When she grows up and moves away. Oh no..... This will be so hard. But still, it will be the best thing in the world. This is how we grow. I just can't explain how I love this little one.

If i ever get around to it, I might add photos to this post.....