"When we wish and seek to help others, our attitude is more positive and relationships become easier. We are less afraid and have less anxiety. Otherwise we remain shy and hesitant, and feel the need to take a thousand precautions before we approach people. When our intentions are good, we have greater self-confidence and are stronger. This is how we learn to understand how precious and valuable kindness is."
-Dalai Lama

my little secret

Most of the time I'm pretty sure I want two babies. Just two. That's what has been agreed upon and that is what we are planning. But what happens when number two isn't a baby anymore, and I want another baby?

Don't tell mike, but I think 3 is the perfect number.

Photo Via: The Lil Bee

Disclosure:

this all depends on if I ever go to college, and get a degree so after we suffer through the financial hardships of raising two (which really means three) children, I can go to work and make some real money after mike retires.

I have everything planned

hah

nothing ever goes as planned

so wish me luck.

an awesome home birth video

What I am looking forward to even more than this home birth is my second home birth, with my first baby there to see it all, and to help me through.

I was really inspired by this video.  I watched it before we had decided whether this is what we wanted, and it had a lot to do with the decision.



I'm sure after I become a mother that anytime I need something to calm me or to comfort me, that my child will be exactly what I need, and when I am working through contractions to bring a second child into this world, holding and loving my first child will be wonderful. It would give me something to focus on, and Im sure it would only strengthen the hormones that would already be running through my body.

The Simple Life?

I've been thinking a lot lately about what we need

and what we don't.

Like kitchen appliances for example.We have a rice cooker/vegetable steamer, waffle maker, George foreman grill, crock pot, blender, magic bullet, and food processor. We also have the tiniest kitchen on the planet, and plenty of pits and pans. We definitely use each of the appliances, but some only on occasion. Some of them do the same jobs, perhaps less efficiently, but the same nonetheless. We are getting rid of some-but which? We NEED Pots and Pans. We use the food processor and waffle maker often. everything else-we could do without.

Another Item I have been thinking about is 2 cars. Do we need them both? With the baby coming, me not working, planning on taking Internet classes, and with the scooter Mike just bought to save money on gas we are seriously considering becoming a one-car family. At first I hated the idea, but slowly I'm beginning to realize how good it might be for us to get rid of a vehicle, a car payment, and the loan.  It would take more planning for sure, but It would probably be worth it. I was worried that if we sell the truck we wont be able to haul things in the back, but then I realized with the hitch on the Subaru we can use our small trailer, and with the roof rack we can get the bicycle or ski racks that we need, and we already have one of those Yakima cargo carriers for the roof.

Of course that depends on if I do or do not go back to work part time in the winter at the times mike will be home, or I land some sort of job where I can bring Hazel with me.

If only scooters were all-weather vehicles.

I'm embracing the Idea of living with less. I do find myself always wanting things, but it's not necessarily MORE things that I want, but the right things. The right furniture for our small home, the right car for where we live, the right high chair that clamps to the counter top and collapses into practical non-existence, the right frying pans that can be used for both baking and cooking. I am silly, and picky at times, but it's for a good reason. If you have the right things, the things you love, the things that multitask, then you need less things overall.

In the past I haven't put much thought into the things I have spent money on. Now a big frustration I have is that everything in my home doesn't have a place. I'm slowly working towards that, but we have had to go through the house repeatedly, cutting out more and more of our belongings. It feels great to let go of things, but we still aren't there yet. I understand much better now what I do and don't want taking up precious space in our home and am evaluating more extensively the things we choose.

babies, babies, it's all I talk about I know.

I spent a little while yesterday morning just watching my belly move. It is really the greatest thing I have ever seen or felt. I go back and forth from feeling so confident and ready for this baby to come, and feeling a little bit unprepared. I think that is how I'm supposed to feel.
I'm lucky that our decision to have a home-birth has been received very well by everyone we know. It makes me feel good to know that the people who love and care about me trust that I make my decisions wisely.

I know a lot of people probably don't understand why we would want to have a home-birth, or would think that it is risky or dangerous. I have done months of research, read so many books. It's not risky or dangerous. If I had a high risk pregnancy, than maybe, but my pregnancy has been completely normal. We know we have made the best decision for us and our baby.

Here is our Midwife's Website: Fern Midwifery

How am I 32 weeks pregnant already? Where has the time gone? She will be here so soon.

Today Barbara and I had a little cloth-diapering shopping spree. We are planning on using prefolds mostly, since they are the most affordable, and are really much easier then people make them out to be. We did splurge on a few Bum-Genius extra small diapers, just for the first couple months. They are tiny (6-12 lbs), and so so adorable. Mike kept saying, "is her bum really going to be that small?". When she grows out of those, and through the G diapers we already have (8-15 lbs), then we will be getting some adjustable one-size fits all diapers (7-35 lbs), which will last until she is potty trained. So far we are only about $200 in, and will probably only spend $200 more on cloth diapering supplies. Maybe $300 when you factor in flannel wipes instead of disposable. $500  for over 2 years of diapering, and then we can use it all for the second baby. It seems like a lot up front, but go ahead and look up how much diapering costs per child for 2+ years of disposables and wipes. It's a lot. ( if we had planned better, and not jumped the gun and bought the G-diapers before I did all the research, we would have saved about $75 more.)

Just look at that cute little Dipe!

big feelings

Do you remember the line in hook when Tinkerbell gets huge?

"this is the biggest feeling I've ever, ever felt, this is the biggest feeling I've ever had and this is the first time I've been big enough to have it."

Im pretty sure that is how I feel right now, and how I will feel when I have my baby.
It'll be the biggest feeling I've ever felt the first time I see and hold her.

I think that is how Mike will feel too, the first time he gets to see her and hold her
which is pretty significant to anticipate that after 45 or so years of living, you are going to have bigger feelings than you have ever had before.

Just some thoughts I had today.

dog barf

I do realize that babies barf a lot more frequently than dogs,

so I really hope I can stomach it better,

because I can't handle dog barf.

I can't even look at it, let alone clean it up

hence the reason I am leaving my house today

without cleaning up dog barf.

Instead I just covered it up with a towel, so I didn't have to look at it

and so mike can deal with it when he gets home.

yuck.

p.s. if you feed your dogs normal dog food instead of occasional leftover human food, this probably will not be an issue.

my house

I'm pretty sure that I have the raddest house of anyone I know.
You should all come and see it sometime.

Kaelee