Oh, Gosh

Gosh
Im at a loss for words
most of the time.
I have so much I want to say
but when I get the opportunity
I forget it.
All of it.
My thoughts, my feelings
they are profound.
My mind goes blank.
People ask me questions.
I am not a speaker.
I get a funny feeling.
I blush
or I get emotional
over nothing
So I am quiet.
I give vague answers, with few words.
I hate it.
I wish I was a speaker.
I used to be a speaker.
Maybe I just need more people to talk to.
I haven't had much of that lately.
Real people, to talk with, about real things
and real feelings
who understand.
I talk to baby H.
She is a good listener,
the best actually
but she is quiet.
Someday she'll respond.
Someday she wont stop talking.
I can't wait to hear what she has to say.