"I Don't Know"

I don't know what you smoke 
or what countries you've been to
 if you speak any other languages other than your own 
but I'd like to meet you.....

In a Funk

It's so sunny out. I should be doing something. Something good, productive, fun.....but there's nothing. I'm having one of those days where I find an excuse for everything. I'll probably just sit in my room with Hazel all day. I hate these days. I know it's me. I should just get out, do something....but I wont. not today. Zoo tomorrow. Ruth's Diner. Tomorrow will be a good day.

Friday Finds

Rigby the Bernese Mountain Dog / Great Pyrenees mix

 

My two favorite dogs in one little puppy? I think I need him!
This wreath would be perfect for easter!
Want to play a prank? here's some Ideas....
Might have to drink this every day this summer.

Hazel at the Zoo

We took Hazel to Hogle Zoo. If over the past ten months any one thing has built my excitement about the coming years of raising children it was taking Hazel to the zoo. She caught on quickly, and would scour each exhibit with her eyes, only really catching sight of the animals that moved. It was a sleepy day for most of them. She loved the monkeys, and hardly noticed much else, besides the giraffes, she did notice those. Afterwards we stopped by Ekamai Thai, and Bruges Belgian Waffles and Frites next to Tony Caputos Market downtown. The best Thai food, and absolutely to die for waffles are fast becoming a Salt Lake City ritual for the three of us. If you haven't been, you really need to go.

Wise Words

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I need this little print by my bed so that every day I remember to make or do something amazing.

Things to Worry About

In 1933 F. Scott Fitzgerald ended a letter to his 11-year-old daughter, Scottie, with a list of things to worry about, not worry about, and simply think about. It really rang true with me, and the things I hope Hazel will and will not worry about one day. It reads:
  

Things to worry about:

Worry about courage
Worry about cleanliness
Worry about efficiency
Worry about horsemanship

Things not to worry about:

Don’t worry about popular opinion
Don’t worry about dolls
Don’t worry about the past
Don’t worry about the future
Don’t worry about growing up
Don’t worry about anybody getting ahead of you
Don’t worry about triumph
Don’t worry about failure unless it comes through your own fault
Don’t worry about mosquitoes
Don’t worry about flies
Don’t worry about insects in general
Don’t worry about parents
Don’t worry about boys
Don’t worry about disappointments
Don’t worry about pleasures
Don’t worry about satisfactions

Things to think about:

What am I really aiming at?
How good am I really in comparison to my contemporaries in regard to:

(a) Scholarship
(b) Do I really understand about people and am I able to get along with them?
(c) Am I trying to make my body a useful instrument or am I neglecting it?

With dearest love,

Daddy

(Source: F. Scott Fitzgerald: A Life in Letters; Image: F. Scott Fitzgerald with his daughter, Scottie, in 1924.)

Choice Notes

Friday Finds

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Things I'm Thankful For Print
Cutest little tutorial for DIY ruffled baby sandals.
Yet another fabulous food blog 
An article on home birth by my new hero, Mayim Bialik, who is not only the most hilarious character on The Big Bang Theory, but also a home-birthing, co-sleeping, sling-wearing, book-writing momma with a PHD in neuroscience, BAZINGA!
Pretty blue blouse from Ruche.

Today in pictures

 My first Dolly, all stitched up and headed to her new owner all the way in Oregon. 

Frumpy, sickly mom, and excited little girl (note the blurry arms, she was waving the like crazy!), headed to the swimming pool for a soak and good long shower (only short showers here at home due to the water situation).

Yeah she really eats raw zucchini....

Trying to get some real food and liquid in me. It seems I have food poisoning from the restaurant last night. NOT FUN. Applesauce, Miso soup (with Quinoa) and Chamomile Citrus Tea. My gut is still bubbly, and crampy, but it stayed down. Hopefully I will be feeling better tomorrow

 A sleepy little girl after a long day, and a pretty good bonk on the head. All better after a cuddle with mom.

More on Montessori

My friend holly posted this intro to Montessori Education on her blog, and I have  to share it.

Wise Words

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What I've Been Working On....

 Unfinished prototypes. Almost done, I'll take better photos. Adding details, faces, buttons, bows.....I'm getting the hang of it.  Anyone want one? Opening a shop soon!!

On Nourishing Our Bodies

 I can't be sure why this way of living that I am striving for is often called The simple life.  It is honestly anything but. The growing of food, the collecting of whole unprocessed ingredients, the foraging, the canning and storing, the making from scratch, the beekeeping and honey-collecting, sewing, knitting, composting.....All of that, when I could just make a quick trip to the store? That sounds much simpler to me, and yet I know that when I do the work, when I put my heart and soul into keeping a home and nourishing my family I will feel fulfilled. I will work hard, and be productive and love my life and enjoy my food and I will be able to set the example that I am hoping to set for my children. It all seems so far away though, so unattainable. I have much to learn and figure out, and I am ashamed at times of the way that things are done around here. In other words, I am not usually the one to do them. My responsibilities are neglected, and fall onto others already heavy shoulders. I say it time and time again, I am working on it. I really am. I have spent months researching, reading blogs, books, websites about diets and lifestyles, ways of living and eating. The explanations behind veganism, vegetarianism, gluten-free, egg-free, paleo, GAPS, SCD, whole foods, clean foods, nourishing traditions.The list goes on and on. I keep coming to the same conclusion: one diet and lifestyle is not right for everyone, rather, we are all different, and we all thrive upon, and are sensitive to different foods. What is right (or wrong) for one person's body is not right for the other.

Due to my lack of observation of my own eating habits, I am so very unsure about what is right for me. I do feel better since cutting down on dairy consumption, but I have this inkling that although I am diligent about replacing the calcium with calcium-rich foods, that I am missing something. I firmly believe in listening to my body, and lately it has been saying to me I need yogurt. I have struggled cutting down on eggs, but especially processed grains and gluten. I am not convinced that gluten is a problem for me, but I do know that the amount of processed wheat and flour products that is consumed in my home is far from the moderate lifestyle I am aiming for. It is so so very hard to retrain a lifetime of bad (or just different) eating habits. It is especially difficult when there is so much conflicting information coming from all sides. I am branching out. Trying new foods, replacing old ones, but too often I fall backwards, and do what is easiest. Refilling my entire pantry with different, more expensive staples is not easiest. Cooking things I have never cooked before is not easiest. Grinding my own wheat, soaking my grains overnight, baking without eggs, all not easiest. It all takes planning, practice, and diligence. Diligence, something I struggle with. I'm so anxious to have everything figured out, now! So whats a girl to do?

Anyways, I babbled on and on, but this is the actual point of my post. I stumbled upon this wonderful food blog, that is rather inspiring. Whole Family Fare is full of delicious, and nutritious recipes, many of which I can use for Hazel as well as myself and Mike. Definitely worth checking out~

Raddest Cover Ever!

Friendly Bugs, Blogging, Time, and Crafting.....

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There is a ladybug crawling across my bed. I have been spotting them all over my house lately, and I am on the fence about it. I love ladybugs, but as beautiful as they are they are still bugs. Bugs that have seemingly found a good place to nest in my little home. They are harmless, and for now I am just letting them roam. Perhaps I need not look at them as bugs. Bugs are pests, but Ladybugs aren't, right? I will look at them as little friends and roommates.

This blog has become a little bit of project for me. In the past I posted now and then, but I'm sure you have noticed the regularity here lately. I set a lot of goals that usually fall by the wayside, and I didn't necessarily set a goal to write here more often, but that's just what has happened and I am going to stick with it. It feels good. It's therapeutic. It's a more productive way of spending all of this nursing time than just surfing the web (which I do plenty of). I feel like I could be up doing something else like cleaning or sewing, but too often Hazel wakes up as soon as I sneak away, and I have to hurry down the ladder and cuddle back up next to her. All she wants right now is for me to be there when she wakes up, so I am trying harder to be there. That means a lot more cuddling, and a lot more internet time.

I just collected all of the supplies I need to make a little white Easter dress to go under the beautiful pink and yellow sweater my mother just finished knitting for Hazel. I'm also preparing to make a Birthday dress, and a doll with a matching Birthday dress. I have no Idea when I will find the time to complete those things. It seems that in all of my spare time I just want to be with Mike. I miss him. He works and works, and I don't want to waste any of the time I have with him. Perhaps I will send him on a little Hike with Hazel tomorrow and I will make a game plan for these little projects of mine. I have two months. It seems like a lot of time, but with how quickly the past ten months have flown, I'm sure that next two will go by in the blink of an eye.

  Dress inspiration: 

Definitely  peter pan collar, and the linen I got is close to this color. A little more coral I think.

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And I'm thinking short so she can crawl around without getting her knees caught up, and I have some crocheted, vintage-style lace that I want to put near the bottom, and on each sleeve. I'm also loving the little pleats that you cn barely see on the front of this dress.

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 And perhaps for the white Easter dress, something like this with tiny fluttery sleeves:

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Friday Finds

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Lovely heart nesting bowls
Sweetest little baby shirt
This little vintage clothing shop inside of a robins egg blue camping trailer
My Midwife has the cutest daughters. This one started an etsy shop selling the most darling bracelets ever. 
The most fabulous nature inspired doll house!
Wasn't Audrey so classy?

Becoming a Mother....

Stumbled upon some beautiful writing. You should read it. 

And. that is the moment it all changes. You don't trust anymore. You don't have faith that your body will look after this precious life. Because you have to. You fall desperately in love, and you feel the responsibility like a sharp pain in your side. Not because you don't want it, but because you feel you don't deserve it. And if she falls asleep on a surface that isn't your own body, you will check to see if she is breathing every 10 minutes for the next four months, because not doing that feels unfathomable. And you don't care if it seems unreasonable. You will leap up when she cries in fright, you will spend hours lying sprawled across your bed with your breast in her mouth.......

Read the complete post here

Wise Words

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The sun is shining. So, so pretty.

Delightful

 My Dear Hazel

Today you were delightful, from sun up til sun down. Your squeals and giggles brightened my day, and my life. You're energy, your speedy little crawl, how you use your feet more than your knees, and the way you balance in a crouch, almost standing. You waddle to my side on feet and hands, and you don't stop until you have clawed and climbed your way all the way up to my chest. Your mouth open wide, you yell, and slobber, and bite at me. My arms, my shoulders my face. I let you, because I simply cannot resist. You reached for daddy when you saw him and I know it mad his day. We swam, you splished, and splashed, and tried to drink the water. You watch other children with wonder and longing. You cannot wait to run and play along with them.  You are the dearest, sweetest little being that I have ever known. Thank you for today.

Lately...

I've had  lot less showers, but a lot more clothes changes.There is always some crusty baby-food on my left shoulder where Hazel like to nibble my shirt. I'm not good at keeping that little mouth clean.
My girl probably eats more paper than food. I've given up on fishing it out of her mouth.
I'm officially that mom with the snot-nosed kid that all kid-less people despise. I just can't keep up with that mucus machine!
I continue to ignore the fact that Hazel enjoys peeing when her diaper is not on, and I let her have naked time in the mornings.

We have been spending a lot more time at home, and I'm more okay with that than I thought I would be. In fact for the first time in my life I would rather spend the day at home.
I'm settling into this cozy winter routine, just as it's on it's way out.
Accepting that the cleaning will never be finished.
Wondering where the time has gone. Seriously, I just had this baby and she is almost ready to walk.
Soooo ready to get this next tattoo started!

I'm feeling the need to go out for a night on the town with the girls....But I don't really have "girls". Just a few here and there.
Wanting to rearrange things. Paint rooms. Build benches. Reorganize. Remove walls. 
Camping. April. Can't wait!

On Slowing Down

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It's funny how often I read a blog post and think I wish my life was like that. The truth is that when I take the time to notice, and stop being so hard on myself my life is like that.

My morning cup of tea would be a peaceful, spiritual moment to reflect and appreciate life if I would slow down and pause for a moment. Just sip, and feel the warmth spread throughout my body, and be happy.

I do marvel at the beautiful skin, and the rising and falling of my sleeping baby's belly as she breathes. I hold her and snuggle her, skin to skin, and it is better that any human contact I have ever experienced before.

When My husband comes home from work I am so happy to see him, and I do enjoy watching him be a good daddy to Hazel It's hilarious how much my all of my friends children adore him, and how he just lets them climb all over him like a jungle gym

I notice the look in Hazel's little eyes, the wonder when she is discovering something new, I see that little brain working away, and I am happy. 

It's all about noticing those moments, and recording them. I recently heard the quote "Comparison is the thief of joy" and I guess in some ways it's true. When you turn it around and instead of wishing for those experiences, you commit to appreciating the moments in your own life that are wonderful and beautiful and amazing, then it is lovely to read about other people's experiences and think, Yeah I feel that too.

Shaker Hymns

Friday Finds

This illustrator's cheeky blog about daily life in london in hand drawn pictures!!!

Learn how to make this all natural skin toner, which apparently works wonders.

A fun musical instrument to make for your kiddos.

These crazy pants and these rad toys from Nicole Balch over at Babble.

On Being a Better Wife

Have I ever told you about my amazing husband? Yeah, yeah I know I have, but really, he is fantastic.The thing is, there are so many simple things I could do to make him feel more love, more appreciation, and more respect......I just forget. I am making it a goal to value him a little bit more, and to be sure to show it. Here are a few simple ways I am going to try to make him feel important:

Try not to interrupt him
Praise him when he speaks about his accomplishments after a day of work
Don't correct him so often
Kiss and Hug him when I see him. Morning, after work in the evening, and before bed at the very least
When I am about to ask him to do something for me, instead ask what I can do for him
When he is in the room turn off the computer and put it away

When I think hard about the little things that bother him, and what I need to change, it really doesn't seem difficult. Small changes would make such a difference in our relationship, and he really deserves so much more. It's the least I can do in return for his loving support.

Wise Words

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Waking each morning to a happy, playful, beautiful baby is the greatest thing in the world, and right off the bat it is easy to be grateful. The problem is that it doesn't take long for me to start wishing. Wishing I had woken earlier,  or slept in, wishing I was waking up to my husband, wishing we had bacon for breakfast, or wishing I had better clothes to wear. I am very good at wishing. I must remind myself to slow down and bask in the simple things that I am grateful for each morning. The cups of tea, my morning playtime with Hazel, and the daily peaceful walk to our car that will soon be no more as the snow is quickly melting. There is much to be grateful for.

TJ Maxx Saved My Sanity

Despite my lack of style or fashion-sense, I do love to shop. I love to shop when I'm bored, when I have an event to go to, and especially when I am sad, frustrated, or just generally stressed out. It washes my worries away. you know how some people get drunk, or binge on junk food when they are stressed? Not me, I buy new clothes! Well, motherhood is stressful, and since we aren't millionaires I don't think I will ever be able to shop enough to alleviate the stress, but yesterday when Mike told me I could spend $50 on a project I have been planning I decided the project could wait, and I would spend the money on something cute from TJ Maxx. I did, and I feel great.

(just so you know, I got some skinny jeans, a cute dress/tunic, and a perfect black & white striped blouse)

The End

I'm in need

Of this dress

Modcloth, size (UK) 14

I would have gotten married in this I love it so much!

Breathe In, Breathe Out

 Some words I needed to hear today.

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Art

Craving a pretty, new tattoo, wishing  I wasn't so attached to $

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Someday soon, when this nursing business slows down (no studies done on the effects of tattoo ink on breast milk)

Can't wait!